Saturday, December 24 2011
(An annual parody)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the casa,
Swirled ribbons of smoke from my Liga Privada;
My humidor placed by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While CAO Visions danced in my head;
And Mom in her 'kerchief, and I in my robe,
Had just settled down for a long winter's smoke;
When out on the lawn dropped a Siboney bundle,
I sprang from my chair and started to stumble.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and reached for the stash;
Moonlight on the wrappers of fresh-rolled cigars
Gave them a luster like thousands of stars;
When, what to my wondering eyes was appearing,
Dozens of Davidoffs, oh how endearing!
With my razor-sharp cutter, so lively and quick,
I knew pretty soon I'd be lighting a stick.
More rapid than eagles the cigars they all came,
He whistled and shouted, and called them by name;
Perdomos! Carrillos! and JM Dominicans!
On Thunder! On VUDU! On Acid, and Nish Xens!
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall!
I was smoking so fast, I had just smoked them all!
As long leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
My only obstacle, was keeping them dry,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh-full of Hemingway Signatures, too;
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I sniffed I smelled smoke, and from what I could tell,
Down the chimney he came with a Rocky Patel;
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with ashes and soot;
With a bundle of Value Line flung on his back,
He looked like a smoker and opened his pack;
The cigars - how they twinkled! Their wrappers how smooth!
Punch Rare Corojos, with nary a tooth!
His droll little mouth was red as a rash,
And the beard of his chin was as white as an ash;
With the stump of a Nub held tight in his teeth,
The smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and took out a cutter,
Then clipped his cigar like a pro, smooth as butter;
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I watched as he placed a Padron on the shelf;
With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
That's when I knew I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled up my humidor, then turned with a jerk,
As I placed in his fingers some Oliva O's
In a huge gust of smoke, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, and whistled with glee
While he puffed with delight on an Tatuaje
Then I heard him exclaim, as he took one last toke,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD SMOKE!"
~ G.K.
Copyright © 2011 by Famous Smoke Shop-PA, Inc. All rights reserved.
